All you had to do was, stay.

"Here you are now

calling me up

but I don't know what to say"

Ok, sorry...got off on a little T.S. kick there. Maybe since it's Girl Scout season I should have started off with a song I learned way back when... 

"Make new friends, but keep the old

one is silver and the other's gold

a circle's round it has no end

that's how long I want to be your friend"

Hold on, what am I thinking. Now I just want to eat Girl Scout cookies and that wasn't my point. (Beware! The little devils are at every grocery store, on every corner, and even pulling wagons around your neighborhood as I type.)

I'm sure we all have gone through this...losing or letting go of people only to reconnect with them later in life. For whatever reason, fall outs happen. Nowadays, Facebook is our biggest tool for finding individuals, even if we don't want to. "People you may know" is more like people you may not want to add.(Ok, maybe that's just me.) However, there are those that you come across that make your heart happy. 

Over the years I've made new friends and definitely lost some along the way. There were those friends of mine that, ultimately, we grew apart, and others I knew their presence was unhealthy. No matter how bad I wanted them to change, I knew I had to cut them out of my life. Yet, lately (ok, not lately...the last few years) I have felt like every time I realize a "new" friend I've made isn't friend material, someone from my past pops up. We reconnect and it's as though no time has passed. They fill two voids at once. (For the record, not all new friends are shitty. You know who you are.)

About 11 years ago I learned the hard way about regrets when I lost a close friend in a car accident. Things were left unsaid and I wish I could go back in time but I can't. Fortunately I was given the opportunity to "connect" with this friend back in September, and having someone (who knew nothing about what happened) tell me things helped ease the pain. It's taken me up until now to let go of the guilt I felt for never reconnecting or being able to say I'm sorry. 

When people come back in to my life it makes me wonder. Do they have things they need to get off their chest and their own issues they need to sort out? Why did we grow apart in the first place? Did we need time to grow up and get our lives together? For whatever reason...forgive, forget, and hope I'm forgiven as well. I know I'm not a great friend, but a new decade for me means trying to be.  

Lesson of the day:
If you have regrets and need to make peace, 

or even feel the urge to reconnect with someone, 

DO IT. 

Like, now. 

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. 

Girl Scouts honor.

Thug Life, Thug Wife

First of all I want to say, happy 2015. I'm only 19 days late, but I hope you've made the best out of them. I decided to skip the resolutions (because who really follows through anyways?) and stick to my 30 while 30 list. I'm happy to say I've crossed two off so far, go me! I'm also happy that 2014 is in the past. 

Lesson from your dog: no matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that shit and move on. 

This year is going to rock and my 30th year of living is going to be AWESOME!! 

Ok, totally going to put my cousin on blast here. I won't name any names, but if she reads this she'll totally know I'm talking about her...

For the past couple of years I've read her posts, all cheery and upbeat, and they have made me want to put my head through a wall. Fact: I was happy for her and where her life was going, but I couldn't understand how someone could be so fucking positive all the time. Like seriously, who does that? IT'S NOT NORMAL!!! We all have bad days, stop pretending you don't. :P Fast forward to December 15th, 2014: I turned 30 and something changed. I let so much petty bullshit get to me for so long and I'm not doing that anymore. Finding the positive in every day may mean figuring out how to channel my anger elsewhere, removing myself from situations, or letting go of people in my life, but I'm now waking up every day wanting to make the best of it. I'm definitely not going with the flow anymore, I'm done with that speed. I deserve it, and my kids deserve it. Period. Rant over. 

Now, back to the real reason for this post. I wanted to share with those that may be hiding their inner thug and too afraid to unleash it. My brother just purchased the Thug Kitchen Cookbook for my sister-in-law, and being a true thug I would just go steal it from her...but I'm trying to be better than that. If you know me, I'm not one for cooking (although I do make some pretty mean sink noodles!), however, Thug Kitchen looks absolutely hilarious and I feel like it speaks right to me. Hell, their whole website is amazing. 

"Welcome to Thug Kitchen, bitches." 

(...they had me at bitches...)

It's vegan and vulgar. So. Awesome. 

Check it out: http://www.thugkitchen.com/teaser

I'm ready for the fam to eat like we give a fuck and I'm super excited for this to be in the house. Hmm...I think my mom may need this as well...

Keep it thug and ish until next time.